It's a dreary, cold winter night. A delicious pot of gypsy soup sits simmering on the stove, just waiting to bring warmth to the soul. It also serves another purpose - as a centerpiece - to bring together friends for conversation and merriment. So what's missing? Unfortunately, the people are.
That is the scene that Erica M described to us when she completed the Sunshine Burger challenge. But don't fret for Erica. She ended up eating with a friend; however, it was not the dinner party she had originally envisioned.
Erica has found it tough to get her friends to the table. Not surprisingly, she has found TV to be the best motivator for collecting her group (what does this say about old-fashioned company or delicious soup on a winter night?). Erica says, "I have only had successful dinner parties when people get together for new episodes of LOST!"
Is this an isolated case or does it say something larger about our inability to pause for dinner with friends and family? Erica thinks, "It is a crazy, fast-paced world. With texting and Facebook, it's easy to feel like we are in constant contact. We become so busy and hectic that even young people (my friends are mostly 19-21) with the least responsibilities (salaried job & no kids) can't respect a real sit-down dinner."
Do families fair better than young people? Interestingly enough, family sit-down dinners have been on the rise in recent years, perhaps because of a simple awareness- that our busy lives are invading our real time together. It appears, real effort is being exerted to get the family to the table. For example, some are taking every family member's schedule and making a calendar for dinners. Wow!
So, do you find yourself struggling to sit down with your friends and family for a real dinner? Erica has some fantastic ideas for helping with that:
1. Awareness - "Remember to use our virtual tools (FB, texting, etc) as intermediate reminders, not replacements, for person-to-person relations"
2. Plan - "Get it on the calendar and stick to it."
3. Share the Care - "I would say the most important thing about getting together with people is letting them know you care."
4. If your goal is to meet new people, find a local food community like Cafe Selma (Ann Arbor) in your hometown. Erica describes Cafe Selma, "imagine knowing every week you have a place to go for delicious food, good company, intellectual stimulation, and all sorts of warmth. Cafe Selma, to me, is all that and more."
Or if none of those work for you, just wait for a new episode of LOST.
Good luck. Let us know what's working for you!
[This post is based on Erica M's top-voted action for the Sunshine Burger challenge "cook dinner for a group of friends." Quotes are taken from her response to us]
LOST is over; there will be no new episodes.
ReplyDeleteMy housemates and I had some success when we made our dinners into events. We had themes, made a lot of good food, and made sure to invite a lot of good people. This last one is important - maybe more important than the food itself. I firmly believe that what gets people excited about eating with others is their company and conversation (above all else). That doesn't mean you should only invite "the cool kids," just that you should emphasize the sort of warm, wholesome, real connections you get at dinner which you CAN'T get from simply chatting with people on FB or gmail (yup, it's true).
ReplyDeletelove this post! my roommates and I set aside a "family night" once a week -- a scheduled date that allows us to slow our lives down, reconnect, cook a delicious meal, sip some wine, and clean the house! we're always going different directions, and our phones are constantly beeping, but "family night" keeps us together :) we also try to throw parties once every month or so to get all of our friends together again. so fun!
ReplyDeleteYears ago, my parents flew a long way to visit me in my first house (complete with girlfriend and several hounds). The challenge of keeping everyone happy for a week was daunting. I called in reinforcements: different friends came to dinner (or joined us at a restaurant) on different nights. Worked wonders. One pal observed: "Your parents are much more fun to party with than you are." The pressure was off us and everyone truly had a good time (even the GF, I think). There is something magic about the convivial atmosphere created when good people sit down together for the first time and share a meal.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for this learning opportunity!
ReplyDeleteI've taken the mantle up again, no need to be discouraged with good planning I see.
Planned a latin night this Friday, dinner party followed by dance party.